When I passed the age of ten in my Christian walk 36 years ago, I also wondered when all my parts would go the same direction ... when I wouldn't have to flinch when I read the words "a walk is steady."
Yes, I loved my Lord then, and I dearly love Him now. My heart yearns for more closeness with Him. My heart is in the right place.
But -- this wife, mother, grandmother, missionary [local and beyond], knee-jerk-taking-care-of-people-person...
...sometimes finds her feet tangled, trying to be all things to all people;
...sometimes cries in tiredness and frustration;
...sometimes whispers a sleepy "I love you" to Jesus as another hectic or complicated day ends.
I know that the malady of our cultural age -- too much activity crammed into too little time -- has no easy answers. Most of my activities are not options and, even those that are, do appear to be God-directed.
So -- I gallop jerkily along, occasionally coming to a screeching halt, tripping over gravel in the road, definitely not walking, and definitely not steady.
But God loves me anyhow. He loves me when I over-book my schedule ... and when I use my few times of leisure inappropriately (Who, ME??? staring off into space??) ... when I am undisciplined in my study and writing needs and have to "cram" ... when I open the Word, the posts, the FB life ... to read it, only to fall asleep half way through the intended scriptures.
Why am I sharing this "negative confession?" Because I am not alone. In the work-world, our living day-by-day world, the [not me!!] texting-instantly world, the FB world, I hear and see that others struggle with the same awkward gait ... who long to be that fine-tuned specimen of Christian maturity and "walk steady."
And I'm sharing this because of the common ground we share, the ground of God's love -- our joy, hope and crown. He knows our hearts, and, in spite of our busyness, He knows we love Him.
That gives me HOPE... forever and ever. AMEN!!
2 comments:
Me too, sister.
Good reminder. Our sins are already gone. The pondering mind and heart long to be more, to do more for His purpose in our lives... He is the designer... He knows "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak..."
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