FOCUSING ON THE LORD!!

         When I was driving out to the NW in October, '12, I had taken many, many photos and this one was special to and for me.  I'll put a couple others, too, with the Word of God.  Then, officially, I put my poem on this about 6 months later when I was home.   Anyhow, since I can't read well, write well, speak well, all I can do is share that right now.  AND I'm singing my song day-by-day, night-by-night with the words re: worshiping, glorifying, praising, honoring, and praying.

                                       
                                            THE WORD...

DAVE'S POETIC GIFT TO ME!!

Two days after God put us together... officially, May 19, '85... and almost no one knew about that for about a month, b/c we were trying to make sure this would really be happening, and carefully.  He was several years younger than me and had been buried strongly in the Lord.  Anyhow, on May 21, he came to my place and knocked on the door.  When I opened, he handed me an envelope.  He was going downtown to a special music situation and a couple of his friends from church were with him in the car. Since he was a youth leader, and my daughter was involved with him at church, the people in the car assumed it was something he was giving to her.   No one would know it wasn't anything for my daughter. Anyhow, as I said, it had my name on the outside and had a couple of what he had drawn on it. When I opened it, after he had gone, I was amazed. It was a poem that he sent to me. I've kept it for all these years in a picture frame for it to be seen. Anyhow, I'll show the words now and show a photo of it! He was a blessing... and his info re: us was quite unusual for me. AND he did all of it that day at the Base when he was there. WOW!!
========

How can such a tough cookie be so fragile?
      Yet you are.
      And I understand.

Fragileness is a part of your beauty, like a flower,
      and your willingness to risk hurt shown your strength,
           which balances and makes you whole.

I pray that i see your fragility,
      so i can trust you as i ought.
         I would loathe to crush the flower underfoot,
             when i desire to nurture you and grow you up in Jesus.

I pray the Lord's forgiveness,
      and yours,
if i'm not tender when i need to be,
     and tough when i need to be.

Love,
Dave.

================

Since my dementia has increased, I can't read well and can't write well and can't follow through well.  It's been a bit more than a month since I've been on here.  I'm sorry, b/c I've loved and enjoyed so many of you.  But sharing this is very important to me.  Anyway, worshiping the Lord and focusing on Heaven and glorifying the Lord moment-by-moment, day-by-day, night-by-night.  BTW, I've read the Bible since I was a kid, and until several months ago.  Now I can read the Bible and the words, but I can't understand things nearly as well.  Now I'll shut up.  But just wanted to let you know, b/c I sure enjoyed being involved with you in these last few years!!

 

MY DAD'S BEEN IN HEAVEN!!

THE MINISTER WONDERFULLY USED THIS WORD FOR MY DAD AT THE FUNERAL.  WHAT A TREAT!

==========================

      MY DAD DIED 31 YEARS AGO TODAY, MAY 22ND, 1984, WHEN 65 YEARS OLD.

     THROUGH MUCH SINFULNESS, FROM HIS CHILDHOOD TIME FORWARD, HE OFFICIALLY CAME TO THE LORD WHEN HE WAS 59.  HE LIVED IN TACOMA MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS, AND CALLED ME HERE IN OMAHA ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON IN THE SPRINGTIME AND TOLD ME.  THEN HE SENT ME A LETTER WITH HOW IT HAPPENED.  I REJOICED.

     MY DAD AND I HAD RARELY SEEN EACH OTHER FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS SINCE I WAS ABOUT 23.  THEN, AFTER HE SENT ME THE LETTER AND CALLED ME ABOUT TURNING TO THE LORD, WE SAW EACH OTHER JUST ONE MORE TIME.  THE REASON I SAW HIM WAS BECAUSE ALL OF MY SISTERS WENT TO SEE HIM DURING THE THANKSGIVING TIME IN '83.  MIRACULOUSLY, I WAS ABLE TO BE THERE. SINCE FLYING FROM OKLAHOMA WOULD BE TOO EXPENSIVE, I DIDN'T THINK I COULD GO.  THEN  A CO-WORKER WITH ME AT MY JOB IN OKLAHOMA GAVE ME THE FINANCIAL GIFT.  SO MY SISTERS AND I ALL KNEW IT WOULD BE OUR LAST TIME WITH HIM AS A GROUP.

      MY SISTER, NIKI, HAD CALLED ME WHEN I WAS IN OKLAHOMA IN THE PREVIOUS SEPTEMBER AND TOLD ME HE WOULD DIE SOON. HE HAD JUST BEEN TOLD THIS BY THE DOCTORS WHEN HE WAS CHECKED ON.  IT WAS A SUDDEN SITUATION. NIKI SAID I SHOULD WRITE A POEM FOR HIM.  GOD QUICKLY GAVE IT TO ME THAT DAY, AND I SENT IT TO HER.  SHE FRAMED IT, AND GAVE IT TO HIM.  HE HAD IT FOR ABOUT 8 MONTHS INSTEAD OF JUST A FEW WEEKS.  

       MIRACULOUSLY, I WAS FLOWN OUT TO TACOMA FOR HIS FUNERAL SERVICE; MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, FRED, THE HUSBAND OF KRISTAN, ARRANGED IT FOR THE PLANE COMPANY.  AT THE FUNERAL, THE POEM FRAME WAS HANDED TO ME, AND I READ IT DURING THE SERVICE, AND, OFFICIALLY, IT WAS GIVEN TO ME,  AND I STILL HAVE IT ON A WALL, EVEN WHEN MOVING TO DIFFERENT HOMES SEVERAL TIMES OVER THESE YEARS.  IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME OFTEN AND I'M SMILING.  CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE DAD WHEN I'M IN HEAVEN!

HERE'S THE POEM:

TO DAD

We’re so much alike – you and I – 
    We think and we feel much the same.
When we love, it’s a deep, soul-filling love,
    When we hurt, it’s with soul-rending pain.

We’re like mirrors – mirror images.

Two needn’t be close –
    If you’re counting the miles –
To Share this world’s Days and its Night.
    There are soul-mates
Who travel life’s path side by side
    Though mountains and plains bar their sight.

And we’re mirrors – you and I – mirror images.

Without Jesus to keep us, we’d Die – you and I –
    Eternally lost from our Lord.
Our hurts closed our hearts to the goodness of God,
    And we turned our backs to His Word.

We’re SO alike – like mirrors – mirror images.

But He reached us – He found us
    And He healed our hearts –
The greatest of healings provided.
    We opened our hearts to receive that great love,
And now He walks closely beside us.

We walk hand-in-hand,
    But with Jesus between –
As He looks in our hearts, we can say
    It’s not just the one,
        or the Two,
            But the THREE of us,
Who will love through Eternity’s Day.

Shining like mirrors – mirror images 

MORE LOVE AGAIN!

Dave and I with the granddaughters that graduated yesterday. 

[Sorry this is so long, but the event is important for me and many.  Thanks for putting up with me.  OH, and the color I'm using on the letters is b/c it's his favorite color.  I'm not using purple, so you'll know him.   I'm smiling when writing this piece.]
                                   ==============

     Re: the photo above, this is the info.  Sunday, late afternoon and evening, we were together with them and my others.  Some of you wouldn't have seen Dave and I together on a photo very recently, so I put it on here so you'd see.  AND the reason is because tomorrow, Tuesday, May 19th, my husband and I will be celebrating our 30th Dating Anniversary.  It was a miracle then, and, day-by-day, it's a miracle now.

      I had begun attending his church on the first Lenten service toward the end of February, 1985.  I had been asked to come there and do the writing, arrange for the music, have monologue people from other churches and there and, at the end of my "job", I was acting the final week event when I had written and was being Mary Magdalene.  Suddenly, when just dropping into this church, the Lord said to me, "You are home." 
      Dave was an Air Force officer, a pianist, organist, and a youth leader. And a young guy.  I respected him, because my daughter was in his youth group and he was so considerate and giving.  I was a bit on the tough side, especially as a divorced mom, hardly making it financially and emotionally.  I was very intense in terms of hoping to help other Christian divorced moms and dads who were walking through very difficult stretches, especially with churches that wouldn't accept them.
      WELL, one of his youth co-workers told Dave that he needed to mow my grass.  Made no sense; I hadn't asked for any help. I didn't do much ever, because I had hundreds of snakes in the yard and I was horrified.  But, for some reason Dave felt he was supposed to do it.  Someone locally in our house areas had managed to kill the snakes a few days earlier.
      Dave came on May 18th with the lawnmower.  It didn't work, which he hadn't anticipated, and he tried to fix it.  We talked in my garage while he was working on it.  It still wasn't fixed, so we did necessary errands connected to the youth.  Went riding on his motorcycle later that night.  Had fun.
      The next day he had piles of work at church, because he and the kids were preparing to head for Mexico as a missions team.  After church, he came to my house and worked on my yard, finished the mowing.  I, not knowing he was a marvelous cook and I was "OK", gave him a "thank you" dinner.
      Then he played a junky piano I had grabbed for my daughter when a neighbor was sending it to the dumps. Of course, it was wonderful to listen to him.

      For some reason, neither of us ever understood, so far outside of his character, he gave me a gentle, sweet kiss on my cheek as he was leaving.
      We talked the next day, Monday, and he came back to my house that evening and we hashed it more, and realized God was putting us together.  However, both of us were scared beyond belief -- so different.

My son and daughter were with us then.

We were engaged in 10 days, married in 4 months.  Shocked a lot of people!  But we knew it was what we were called to do.  It was WAY outside of the normal social aspects, Christian and otherwise. He was 25, I was 40 when we married. 
      So, MORE was the love through him that was poured into my heart, bringing healing from the Lord by his kindness, graciousness, givingness, huge generosity,  respect, appreciation ... most aspects I had never experienced in my life, even as a Christian.
      We had been together for 2 days when he dropped an envelope off to me while heading out for a meeting; would see me the next day.  When I opened the envelope, it blew my mind.

      This may seem too "romantic" and not serious enough re: "More" ... but, however, tomorrow we'll have lunch at a Greek restaurant we've enjoyed for many years and my daughter gave us the special money for it on my Mother's Day.  He's working at our church and teaching piano students that evening so we can't run out and do much, but we can pray, smile, hug and kiss. That's what counts.  He's been wonderful.
      And, yes, we were much different and, yes, he knew it from the beginning or he wouldn't have written this poem 30 years ago.  I still keep it in a frame on my dresser.  It will never go away.  This is it:

                             =================

How can such a tough lady be so fragile?

        Yet you are and i understand.
Fragileness is a part of your beauty, like a flower,

and your willingness to risk hurt shows your strength, 

which balances and makes you whole.

I pray that i see your fragility, 
       so i can treat you as i ought.
I would loathe to crush the flower underfoot, 
      when i desire to nurture you and grow you up in Jesus.

I pray the Lord's forgiveness,
     and yours,
if i am not tender when i need to be, 
      and tough when i need to be.

                                ==============

      Very little had ever touched my heart more than that.  Accurate, filled with truth, pouring forth more and more love.  He's been a treat to me.  He was a gift from God.  My kids and grandkids, my sisters and other family members and friends had loved him ... almost more than they have loved me.  DUH!!  Because he's such a special person.  And he's a house fixer, yard fixer, WONDERFUL cooker, and wonderful pianist for churches and for weddings and funerals.  When we were in Uganda, a huge blessing for us together, he did all that same stuff there, too.  Teaching school books, computers, pianos, and fixing and fixing.  They love him, too.  As I've said, he's a huge blessing.
                   =========================

I'll be 70 in July and my dementia and, possibly the beginning of Alzheimer's according to what I've been told, and my stumbliness and dizziness, etc., he's still very helpful and very kind and very loving.

REVELATION ON MY HEART!

REVELATION ENTERS MY HEART,

DAY-BY-DAY.

LOOK FORWARD TO BEING IN THAT PART OF THE WORLD AND UNIVERSES AND PILES OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN MY LIFE FOREVER-AND-EVER.

HIDE 'N' SEEK POEM

HIDE 'N' SEEK

Been playing this childhood game
at an unchild age --
hiding from a formidable foe --
The Heavenly Father

Silly, isn’t it?
He knows all,
sees all,
and,
in kindness,
seeks all--

and finds all --

all who are seeking Him.

But I’m hiding --
my flaws,
defects,
imperfections,
sins

(especially those pesky sins)

I
-- like a 2 year old --
cover my eyes,
“Hiding”
and
in self-delusion
believe that if I can’t see Him,

He can’t see me.

I hide from His hand --
still not quite believing,
still somehow cringing
Still afraid --
waiting,

waiting,

waiting

for the other shoe to drop.
Of what am I afraid??

That my heart will be revealed for all to see --
transparent before Him --

(and man)

pride rooted out by my
faithful
Father--
Who loves me --

(even me).

Forgive me --

Abba, Papa, Daddy, Father

for the sin of hiding --
When Your heart’s desire from me
is more

--simply more --

seeking.

[And, obviously, no matter where we are or what we're sitting on, HE can and will protect us.  Happened to and for me many times.  Love Him, MUCH!]

 

LADYBUGS POEM

 I wrote this poem back in October, '01, while I was hiding out on the North Shore of Superior, trying to deal with brokenheartedness connected to 9/11's life and death. Much of my writing during those days was very serious, very dark. This was one of the only light pieces, and I've enjoyed sharing it with friends and family over these years.  Now I'll share it around and about the world again.  Hope you smile!
====================================================
“Grandma” -- eyes wide, he asked -- “weren’t you
a-scared, camping ... in the woods ... in the dark

... alone?”

“Of course not!!” I answered .. and then added,

“well, maybe a little ...

But God was there --

and so were ladybugs.”

“Grandma, were there bears?
BIG, Black or Brown,
and Furry?
Did ya see ‘em?”

“No,” I said, “No bears, no scary stuff at all

[unless you count spiders],

Just squirrels and chipmunks, and, ...

Oh, yes ... I saw ladybugs.”

“They flew into my shirt and my
pants and my hat – and stayed there --
all red-orange and black on
my purple and blue and magenta.

And I brushed them away --
Oh, so gently
[one never wants to hurt a ladybug].”

“Did you have fun on your trip? --
Did you miss us and want us with you?”

“Of course!!” I answered,
wondering how a sometimes Grumpy Gramma
would do with all the munchkins.
“I thought you would like the water and the rocks,
and the trees -- but mostly,
you’d LOVE
the ladybugs.”

 

DAD'S 30TH YEAR IN HEAVEN...

THIS VERSE WAS SHARED BY THE PASTOR AT HIS FUNERAL.

DAD DIED 30 YEARS AGO TODAY WHEN 65 YEARS OLD.

THROUGH MUCH SINFULNESS, FROM CHILDHOOD FORWARD, HE OFFICIALLY CAME TO THE LORD WHEN HE WAS 59.  HE LIVED IN TACOMA, AS USUAL, AND CALLED ME HERE IN OMAHA ONE SUNDAY AFTERNOON AND TOLD ME.  THEN HE SENT ME A LETTER WITH HOW IT HAPPENED.  I REJOICED.

WE HAD RARELY SEEN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS, AND SAW EACH OTHER JUST ONE MORE TIME.  ALL OF MY SISTERS WENT TO SEE HIM DURING THE THANKSGIVING TIME IN '83, AND, MIRACULOUSLY, I WAS ABLE TO BE THERE, SINCE FLYING FROM OKLAHOMA WOULD BE TOO EXPENSIVE.  BUT  WE KNEW IT WOULD BE OUR LAST TIME WITH HIM AS A GROUP.

MY SISTER, NIKI, HAD CALLED ME WHEN I WAS IN OKLAHOMA IN THE PREVIOUS SEPTEMBER AND TOLD ME HE WOULD DIE SOON, AND I SHOULD WRITE A POEM FOR HIM.  GOD GAVE IT TO ME THAT DAY, I SENT IT TO HER, SHE FRAMED IT, AND GAVE IT TO HIM.  HE HAD IT ABOUT 8 MONTHS INSTEAD OF JUST A FEW WEEKS.  

AT HIS FUNERAL SERVICE, 

I READ IT, AND IT WAS GIVEN BACK TO ME,

 AND I STILL HAVE IT ON MY WALL.

HERE'S THE POEM:

TO DAD

We’re so much alike – you and I – 
    We think and we feel much the same.
When we love, it’s a deep, soul-filling love,
    When we hurt, it’s with soul-rending pain.

We’re like mirrors – mirror images.

Two needn’t be close –
    If you’re counting the miles –
To Share this world’s Days and its Night.
    There are soul-mates
Who travel life’s path side by side
    Though mountains and plains bar their sight.

And we’re mirrors – you and I – mirror images.

Without Jesus to keep us, we’d Die – you and I –
    Eternally lost from our Lord.
Our hurts closed our hearts to the goodness of God,
    And we turned our backs to His Word.

We’re SO alike – like mirrors – mirror images.

But He reached us – He found us
    And He healed our hearts –
The greatest of healings provided.
    We opened our hearts to receive that great love,
And now He walks closely beside us.

We walk hand-in-hand,
    But with Jesus between –
As He looks in our hearts, we can say
    It’s not just the one,
        or the Two,
            But the THREE of us,
Who will love through Eternity’s Day.

Shining like mirrors – mirror images 

EVERY TIME I HEAR HIS NAME

I was blessed beyond belief on last Friday night, December 13.  I was staying with a husband and wife pastors.  I was hitting the road on Saturday morning for home, but they were about 80 miles from when I left Susan's that afternoon.  I wouldn't have as much travel difficulty in the cold, snowy, freezing phase of life.

When I arrived on Friday afternoon, I immediately met their guests from Canada.  Spiritually intense, visionary, strength-of-the-Lord people.

I love Craig and Sonja's church!

Before I arrived, I knew I needed some special prayer time, for health and for a battle to the enemy.  Amazingly, they did it, all in agreement when they didn't discuss any of this about me.  But Craig and Sonja have known me for a few years when I'm up to Minnesota and going back and forth.  Been dealing with historical and otherwise spiritual issues together.


Anyhow, Friday night, I was told specifically by all of these people that I have been dealing with orphan spirit issues [which I'd never thought of; now reading it] and that God loves me especially as His daughter.  I was filled with joyfulness as I was leaving for home.  Filled my heart all day. Still is.

Today, when trying to share a poem or song I've written in the past, this one jumped in.  I wrote it about 32 years ago, when at a church here, and I felt strongly that it was good then.  NOW??  It's truly perfect.  My heart wanted it to mean this long ago, and felt it did.  Now it truly does!!!

Would love to have the song sung again.  Sure will be in my mind, heart, soul, and spirit now... for a LONG time!

====================================

Chorus:

            Every time I hear His name I’ll love Him more.
            Every time I hear His name, I’ll worship and adore Him.
            For He gave sweet life to me,
            And through all eternity
            Every time I hear His name, I’ll love Him more.

Verse 1:

           Oh, He is my dearest Friend,
           He came to me.
           He saved my soul from sin,
           He set me free.
           He hears me when I pray,
           He guides my steps each day,
           So, every time I hear His name, I’ll love Him more.

 Verse 2:

          Oh, He’ll be your dearest Friend,
          He’ll come to you.
          He will save you from your sin,
          He’ll see you through.
          He’ll listen when you pray,
          His promise says, He’ll make a way.
         And every time you hear His name,  you’ll love Him more.

THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

    EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

The tour guide said, “The leaves aren’t so brilliant this Autumn --
    just average -- ... too many pests, too much heat,
       too little rain ... don’t expect the golds and
        scarlets and yellows to be as stunning
            as usual.”

I didn’t catch all the details.
  

CITY OF REFUGE

I wrote this poem/song nearly 7 years ago.  When reading in the portion of the Bible, [Numbers, Deuteronomy, and Joshua], when the 6 cities were places in Israel for the safety of people who had either purposely or accidentally killed someone, this song hit me.  In those old days, these cities were the refuge.  When Jesus covered our sins and went to Heaven, the city for all of us as refugees from our sin, that's all I can count on forever.

Hasn't been sung, hasn't been used.  But it was a pure blessing when it was dropped into my heart, soul, and spirit.

==============================================

    CITY OF REFUGE

I was fleeing for my life
I could see the city gates
    Open to enfold and bring me in.
Behind me, on the pathway,
My enemy pursued me,
    Intending to destroy me for my sin.

Oh, Blessed place of Refuge
I Cried, Oh, Refuge City,
My only hope was found
    within your walls.
Before the priest I trembled
    and pled my case for mercy
I knew before this judge I’d stand or fall.

I was fleeing for my life,
Fleeing to the Blood of Refuge
    Shed by Jesus Christ, it drew me in.
Behind me on the pathway
My Enemy pursued me,
    Accusing and condemning me for sin.

Oh, Blessed Man of Refuge,
I cried, Oh, Blessed Savior,
My only hope is
     through Your cleansing Blood.
Before my Priest I worshiped
He pled my case for mercy
Freedom came through
    His Redeeming Love.

And now I walk in Freedom,
I daily walk in Freedom,
    Rejoicing as I look upon His face.
The Refuge I once cried for,
The Refuge Jesus died for,
    Enfolded me within the walls of Grace.

REALITY STRIKES AGAIN...

I left Tacoma yesterday, and don't think I'll ever be there again.  The photos were taken another time, because of today's computer issue, and the words written then.  However, the reality is still Reality.  All the photos are connected to Point Defiance Park beach area or downtown when seeing the Rainier... "my" Rainier.  The last photo is on the Washington side of the Columbia River ... one of my favorite Rest Areas.  Will be there in about 5 days when heading east.  But, as I said, this truly is Truth. 

===================================

THE "SOME DAYS" OF LIFE

Some days feel sluggy and bloggy and foggy,

even when hard and firm Rockiness is in sight.

 

[Sometimes the rocks are in bits and pieces;
not a firm foundation.]

Sometimes life simply seems unraveled. Unorganized.

...or dusty, and gusty and dingy and fringy...

 

Sometimes,

yes, sometimes,

that is how our days,

hours, minutes, seconds

... our lives ...

feel.

And yet...

The reality,

The True Reality,

is...

Strength, solidity...

Strong Roots linking our past to the future...

 

Wispy, whispery Spirit breezes swifting through,

bringing Light into our hearts.