HMMM... JOANNE? JEREMIAH?

My middle name is "Joanne".  Called by that constantly.  Don't even know when I discovered I had another name, Carolyn, until I went to school.  Anyhow, been the "normal" one for nearly 68 years.

However, the first time I read the prophetic portion of the Bible, and just skimmed them, some of the Jeremiah bits and pieces stuck on me even then.  Why?  Because he looked so depressed, so sad, so often serving so many and speaking the Word from the Lord ... and then slammed to the side, again and again.

WAY back then, probably in my early 30s, I truly felt like a "Jeremiah".  Looking around, speaking out, giving what I perceived as "practical spiritual advice"... usually through stories, scripts, VBS, Bible-class teaching... often went out well, was received with appreciation.  Sometimes, joy and laughter, which was my goal in a rather side-way to break into thinking and hearts.  THEN, occasionally, misinterpreted, misunderstood, and threatened.  Accusing of lying, in a spiritual creative manner.

So, what hit me on my Christian side?  Depression.  What had hit me personally since about the age of 5?  Depression.  Simply a significant part of life.

When reading the Book Jeremiah, over and over, and a few commentary portions, it has been obvious that he was serving the Lord, calling the people forward, sorrowful when losing dear friends, and horrified when being forced to Egypt with the ones who were escaping from Israel.   When the men had asked him to pray and tell them what the Lord wanted them to do, the Lord had said very clearly they were to stay in Israel.  They thought Jeremiah was lying, and that he was a Babylon fan, supporter.

What I didn't realize until recently, when reading it in the Chronological Bible, that, when forced to Egypt, he didn't die immediately.  It indicates that he lived until he was about 90.  This means that he was in Egypt approximately 26 years,  forced to be there with those who didn't believe his word.  He spoke the them occasionally, in their face, but there's no indication of what he truly went through there.  He began in Jerusalem his early 20s, did it in that general area for about 40 years. Then was in Egypt for the 26 years, as I mentioned a recently.  How crazy would that seem to those of us who serve the Lord, speaking His Word, teaching those around us, encouraging, giving straight-forward instructions?  

At my present age, when I came to the Lord at 20, began teaching in my early 20s, I have been ministering in one way or another for about 45 years.  And, just as what Jeremiah went through, I have/am, too.  Some agree with my viewpoints, some don't.  Some think I'm WAY too picky, some think I'm not picky enough.  Some smile with appreciation, some roll their eyes.

Now, am I a prophet?  I had never thought so.  However, about a dozen years ago, I was told that I am; by people and by the voice of the Lord in my mind and heart.  It has continued.  I'm NOT visionary, but, the way it's described, I have the ability to see what's coming down the path for families, towns, nations, when people are turning their backs to the Lord and accepting what's wrong in our world and rejecting what's right in the heart of the Lord.

Am I depressed?  Struggle with it a bit.  Both physically and spiritually.  BUT not as much in some ways, because I know that I know that I KNOW, that the Lord is the only One I can rely upon forever -- and I want Him to rely upon me to serve Him.

YES, I have a pile of dear friends, dear family, a WONDERFUL husband.  The main center of that, though, is that all of us love our dear Lord and desire greatly to serve and be with Him forever.

Will I end up taken to "Egypt" for another 20-plus years, because the people who have control over me in this world don't trust me and think I've been lying to them?  Maybe.  But must rely upon the Lord in my heart.  That's ALL I can ever count on, the only Forever One I can always rely upon for eternity.

When I meet Jeremiah in Heaven, I hope to see him filled with joyfulness, with extreme thankfulness ... and I will be joyful knowing that depression was left behind when he died, no matter how that occurred.  AND MY struggle with depression will be gone forever and ever.

I'll be a joyful worshiping grinner.  YIPPEE!!

[And, in Heaven, being called "Jeremiah", filled with his eternal joy, too, would be a wonderfully favorite name.  I sure wouldn't complain if "Joanne" disappeared.]