YES! THE LORD IS GOOD!!!

IN KAMPALA, OMAHA, LONDON, NEW YORK CITY, PARIS,

AND ANY CITIES AND/OR TOWNS

 AROUND AND ABOUT THE WORLD 

IS EXACTLY HOW ALL OF OUR LIVES CHANGE

MIRACULOUSLY AND EXCEEDINGLY

WHEN WE SEEK OUR LORD.

HE TRULY IS GOOD TO AND FOR US.

HE TRULY IS MY PORTION...

YES, WE CAN HAVE WONDERFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS...

I DO!! ...

BUT HE IS TRULY ALL WE CAN THOROUGHLY

HOPE FOR AND WAIT FOR.

HE IS "IT"... FOREVER AND EVER.

STRONG AND STEADY

HE IS MY TRUST, MY HOPE...

When I graduated 51 years ago, even though filled with sinfulness, I was also filled with "seedfulness" 

from people who entered

 my life from childhood forward. 

 My sinfulness increased significantly after graduation and, another significantly, was when the Lord broke 

into my heart officially on April, 15, 1966.  

Since then I've grown more and more in Him and 

want only to be with Him, 

moment-by-moment in our world and then 

instant-by-instant when in Heaven.

MY INHERITANCE

THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST 

INTERESTING, CHALLENGING

DAYS AT MOROCCO.

HERE'S A COUPLE PHOTOS OF THIS AREA

WHERE THE ROMANS HAD BROKEN IN

AND TAKEN OVER 3RD CENTURY B.C.

HISTORICALLY, QUITE A PLACE TO LOOK 

AROUND AND ABOUT.

LARGE AREA

STORK

FUNNY ROCKY MOSAIC FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS.

HUGE AND MAIN GATE

FOR THE SALVATION

I'M TOO MUCH OF A "RUNNER".

NEED TO BE A "QUIETER"...

AND WAITING FOR MORE AND MORE OF MY LORD

TO ENTER MY HEART/SOUL/SPIRIT.

YES, I'M SAVED.

HIS SALVATION IS ALL THAT COUNTS.

BUT WAITING AND WORSHIPING ARE GOOD "GOD-THINGS".

IN AND OUT OF ASHES

I'll never forget the relief.  The decision was made April 27, 1984.  For two years I had struggled over whether to get a divorce, to pursue it.  I prayed, sought counseling, cried, screamed, made possible plans "if"-- and all the time hated the thought of giving in to failure and breaking up the marriage. There truly were a number of serious reasons to be in this serious mess.  Married as a Christian, 15 years earlier, it truly was the last alternative I wanted to face.  In fact, I had gone to a women's retreat that weekend in Tulsa, asking only one question of God in my heart -- "What do YOU see needs to be done about this?"  And before the weekend was over, all the pieces fit together, and I stopped churning and tossing and was at peace.

I was nervous about telling Lloyd, but I needn't have been.  When I told him I was going to file for divorce, he, true to pattern, shrugged his shoulders and said offhandedly, "Whatever."

After the relief, euphoria enveloped me.  I spent 10 weeks operating in that unreal fantasy realm--not knowing it was fantasy at the time.  I thought I was finished crying forever and ever and now could joyfully go on with life.

I. was. wrong. 

My friends would have told me I'd crash if they thought I would believe them.  I was flying.  It was great!  Months later, I remembered an Emergency! episode from the television show in the 1970s.  A man at a loading dock was pinned by a truck from the chest down.  He was smiling and said he was fine; he didn't understand the fuss.  The paramedics standing to the side said, "We better be ready, because when they move that truck the pain is going to hit."  Well, they were right.  The truck moved and the man screamed in pain and passed out..

My "truck" moved, too.  And the pain hit...but I couldn't faint, and I couldn't die, and I couldn't understand why I had so much pain or what caused it, or what to do with it.  All I knew was it was there--all the time-- one LONG contraction, broken occasionally by a painless moment, just long enough to allow me to catch my breath and steel myself for the next onslaught.

Gradually, that, too, changed.  After a few months, a swing began.  A few days without pain, a few days with.  A few weeks of dull pain, a few days with extreme pain, and a slow return to normalcy.  Almost exactly a year from the women's retreat I felt more complete--most of the time--although I was aware of the enormous hole in my "self", and VERY aware of the loneliness.

But I had HOPE.  The hope buried deep in my heart that I had a real future; that, just as in nature, there would be growth and beauty from ashes.  Isaiah said,  "He gave me beauty for ashes; the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."  And, like the aftermath of Mt. St. Helens when the volcanic episode occurred, and the destruction of that indestructible "rock", when lichen and ferns and wild flowers began to push their way through that gray, brittle, gritty ash, so my "life" was returning.  It was never the same.

One lesson I learned through this:  no matter what the future holds, I know my God. And I know that I know that I know that there is always growth and I will always  rise "up from the ashes."

====================


I wrote this more than twenty years ago.  One huge blessing

My kids were with us; a blessing.

was that exactly a year after the divorce, I married my husband, Dave, who is a blessing and has been forever and ever.  My kids, teen-ish then, have grown through him and my grandkids love him.  My kids also have returned to their dad, keeping track of him, and forgiveness has spread around and about.  A couple years ago, when he was here for a family wedding, we actually spent a bit of time together at the church, and the anger between us was gone.  Another occurrence that "God is BIGGER".

EVERYTHING THROUGH CHRIST

YEP!  THIS IS MY FOCUS, MY HOPE,

MY EVERYTHING.

===========

Two years ago, when driving through Tacoma, I saw a house I had lived in when I was 7 years old.  THEN it wasn't very nice ... although most houses weren't very special in those days ... and hadn't seemed to be during other drive-by times over these many years.

NOW, it was remodeled beautifully and filled with 

wonderful flowers, bushes, special yard decorating.

What a blessing to have seen it "healed".

HOPE IN HIM ... ROM. 15

 

IN HIM THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT'S POWER.

============

YES, I HOPE, AND HOPE, AND HOPE SOME MORE...

ISAIAH... AND COME DOWN!

YES, MY HOPE!!  

TODAY AND EVERY DAY!

GAPING-HOLE SOUL.

"HOLEY" HOPEFULNESS

There's a gaping hole in my soul

Big enough to drive a truck through.

It's not a fearful emptiness
No reason for panic

But--

Anticipation -- Breathlessness

WAITING

HOPING


nose-pressed-to-the window

EXPECTING

my God

HIMSELF

to enter in.

 

 

===============================

Wrote this years ago, shared it September, 2010, not long after entering this blog-world.  Since I can only do bits and pieces of posts now, I decided to share this one.  Don't want to NOT spend time with my dear friends. 

Won't be able to be "normal" on my posts for nearly a month. 

Please put up with me.



PROVERBS 26:20

As I grow deeper and deeper into the heart of my Lord, I desire more and more to become a non-whisperer, a non-source of contention.

That is my hope.

UP FROM THE ASH

I'll never forget the relief.

The decision was made April 27, 1984.  For two years I had struggled over whether to allow a divorce, because so many aspects had become more and more physically and emotionally dangerous, for both me and my kids.  I prayed, sought counseling, cried, screamed, threatened, made possible plans "if" -- and all the time hated the thought of giving in to the failure of a marriage, a definitely not OK Christian choice.  It truly was the last alternative I wanted to face.  In fact, I had gone to a women's conference in Tulsa, asking only one question of God -- "What do YOU see needs to be done about this?"  [I knew HE knew the future and could pour hope into my heart.]  Before the conference was over, all the pieces were joined together, and I stopped churning and tossing and was at peace.  Momentarily.

I reached home late that Saturday.  Wasn't sure what to say or when, was willing to wait for months if that was laid on my heart; still hoping for miraculous marriage-healing to occur. [In spite of what I'd "heard" in Tulsa, I knew God could bring anything to pass.]  Then, within half an hour, details my kids told me when I got home, confirmed that waiting was not an option.

Even knowing this, I was nervous about telling Lowell.   I needn't have been.  When I told him I was going to file for a divorce, he, true to pattern, shrugged his shoulders and said offhandedly, "Whatever."

After the relief, euphoria enveloped me.  I spent about 10 weeks operating in an unreal fantasy realm--not knowing, at that time, that it was fantasy.  I thought I was done crying forever and ever and now could joyfully go on with life.

I was wrong. BUT...

I...was...flying.  It was great!  My friends would have told me I'd crash if they thought I would believe them.  Months later, I remembered an Emergency! episode from the television show in the 1970s.  A man at a loading dock was pinned by a truck from his chest down.  He was smiling and said he was fine; he didn't understand the fuss.  The paramedics standing to the side said, "We better be ready, because when they move that truck the pain is going to hit."  Well, they were right.  The truck moved and the man screamed in pain and passed out.

In the next life-changing phase, my "truck" moved, too.  And the pain hit...but I couldn't faint, and I couldn't die, and I couldn't understand why I had so much pain or what caused it, or what to do with it.  All I knew was it was there--all the time-- one L-O-N-G contraction, broken occasionally by a painless moment, just long enough to allow me to catch my breath and steel myself for the next onslaught.

Gradually, that, too, changed.  After a few months, a swing began.  A few days without pain--a few days with.  A few weeks of dull pain; a few days with extreme pain, with a slow return to normalcy.  Nearly a year later, I felt more complete--most of the time--although I was aware of the enormous hole in my "self", and VERY aware of the loneliness.

But, in spite of everything, through the Lord I had HOPE.  The hope buried deep in my heart that I had a real future; that, just as in nature, there would be growth and beauty from ashes. 

"He gave me beauty for ashes; the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."  Isaiah 61:3

And, like the aftermath of Mt. St. Helens, and the destruction of that indestructible rock, when lichen and ferns and wild flowers began to push their way through that gray, brittle, gritty ash, so my "life" was returning.  It was never the same.

One lesson I learned through this:  No matter what the future holds, I know my God. And I know that I know that I know that there is always growth and I will always  rise "up from the ashes."

[A year and 3 weeks after the divorce decision, on May 19, 1985, God dropped Dave into my life.  For 27 years, he has been a blessing to me and my kids (and, now, grandkids), a giver, a God-server, a truly appreciative husband, a stability -- something I had rarely experienced. I am an extremely blessed woman!  And another heart-pounder?  He believes he is blessed, too!  WOW!!]

NOAH -- MADNESS AND SADNESS -- AND HOPE

The Word Carnival.... Madness
=======================
“Noah, how could you do that?” she wailed, beating his chest. “How could you close the door? Did you not see the water rising? ... or not hear the screaming?” She paused and looked around frantically for a moment and then threw her hands up over her ears and shrieked, “Oh, the pounding, the pounding!” With that she crumpled at his feet, sobbing.

Noah, knelt next to her, gathered his wife into his arms, his own tears soaking his beard.

“My dear one,” he said, cupping her face in his hands, “I did not close that door.” She looked at him in disbelief and tried to jerk away, her eyes calling him a liar. He held her fast, and looked deeply into her eyes and repeated himself. “I did not close that door.” Since she had known him since their youth, Noah hoped she would believe him, and know that he was not lying, that his heart was also hurting.

She melted into his arms, sobbing quietly.

A few hours later, rain still hammering on the roof, the animals shifting about anxiously, Noah called his family together into their common room, and away from their personal living quarters where they had run for shelter. Looking around the circle of his sons and their wives, looking at his own beloved one, he felt momentary panic. Two of his sons were wide-eyed with fear over the sudden events. He could nearly read their minds as they wondered whether they were truly safe, or if a violent drowning death awaited them, too. Noah’s other son did not look frightened, which should have calmed Noah’s heart. However, Ham’s eyes were filled with cynicism and hardness, no compassion coming through. Ham’s wife, on the other hand, was overwhelmed by sorrow. Noah had hoped that when Ham married her, her gentleness would overcome his harshness. So far, Noah’s only joy came in seeing that Ham had not been able to change her heart and spirit and that she remained the same loving woman.

While sitting on the straw mats, the family looked at Noah intensely, waiting for him to speak.

“Since your mother believed I closed the door of the ark, ignoring the cries and pleading of those on the outside, I expect you may think the same.” Noah paused, clearing his throat and choking back tears as he tried to continue. “I knew something was happening soon, but only because I had completed every task Jehovah had placed before me. And, as I waited – as we waited – I hoped I would not be the one forced to close the door. To see my brothers and sisters, or my friends, clamoring for safety, and to refuse them, could badly wound my heart. I have not slept well for many years, wondering how and when this would take place.”

Looking around the circle, Noah saw a glimmer of belief and relief in their eyes. “When the final events happened – the skies opened and flooded everything around us – the ground quaked and great springs of water shot forth – I was as shocked as you, and frightened. Even with all I preached – all the warnings I gave – all I had expected to happen – somehow I did not realize it would look like this.”

He paused again, covering his mouth with his hand, tears filling his eyes. “I was trying to calm the animals as the noise increased because of the rain when I heard the door close firmly – and I knew it was not a man.”

Noah walked around the family, touching and blessing each one. All of them, except Ham, leaned into his hands, warmed by his touch. He took his wife’s hand, gently stroking it, and said to her, “I know you, and your daughters, will spend much of your future lives grieving over the loss of so many dear family and friends.” He looked around and continued. “I can truly understand. So... as I see tears flow and sorrow burst forth, I will not neglect any of you. You may come to me at any time so we can pray together and seek comfort from our dear Jehovah.” He stopped and looked at the ceiling for a few seconds. “Even though there is a side in me that says they had their chance, heard the truth and made their choice, it does not mean my heart is not suffering, too. However, I must force myself to look to the future or I will be lost in sadness and no longer be of use by our Creator.” He shook his head. “And that I cannot risk.” He paused again and returned to his place.

“As I have told you before, dreams and visions from our dear Lord God have revealed a land restored from this desecration. Abundant life. A world replenished. Men and women who will understand true worship and do so joyfully. In spite of what we see around us at this moment, I have hope .... hope that sin and unfaithfulness will never again fill the world and cause another tragic event, another world-wide sin-cleansing by His hand. Yes, my dear ones, that truly is my hope.”

"ASTONISHED WITH A GREAT ASTONISHMENT"

For years, just like many of you, of course, I've read the story of Jairus' daughter whom Jesus healed and then told her to "Get up!" And she did and began to walk around.

Somehow, I have just skimmed past what the parents thought or said or how they reacted. I was reading it in the KJV today and just had to laugh. Their response: They were astonished with a great astonishment.

When I checked other versions, it's pretty much the same, of course, but this had jumped out at me.

Now, of course, they were astonished. This much-loved 12-year old was already dead, according to those involved in their home. Wouldn't we be crushed at the loss, and then astonished at that glorious change?

What it made me wonder today was, even though I've not walked through anything like this, has the Lord made me "astonished with a great astonishment"?

The answer is YES!!

In April, 1966, He broke into my life when there was no "logic" for it, and because of that breakthrough my whole life is different, drowned in hope instead of buried in hopelessness.


He healed my heart twice in two different churches here in Omaha -- Oct., '84 and Feb., '85. I was headed towards stroke, heart attack or death in my late 30s... and He touched it twice in 4 months and the pain and abnormal heartbeats stopped. I was very "astonished with a great astonishment". Doctors, meds, nothing made a difference. He did.

He dropped Dave into my life in May, 1985. I would never have imagined a man like him. When we were casually talking one day, even though I was very frank with him about my background, he didn't even blink. He was much younger than I -- 14+ years younger -- was a youth leader, highly respected at church, a wonderful pianist, and a giver beyond belief, both then and now. Since Day One, he has always treated me with great respect. He appreciates me, and expects nothing. He wants me to be "myself", whatever that might mean, wherever I might be in life. He wants me to serve the Lord the way He calls me, period. For nearly 27 years, these never-anticipated-in-my-life years, I am often "astonished with a great astonishment".

A major blessing: Traveling to Uganda, Morocco, Costa Rica, England, Paris, Canada...and all around the U.S. since the late 1980s. Previously, I was rarely able to travel outside the nearest locations wherever I was living, because of poverty and responsibility. But missions and serving was laid in my heart when I was 10 years old and Jim Elliot was killed in Ecuador in January, 1956... I read it in the newspaper on the floor in my living room in Tacoma, WA, and the desire to go and help piled into me then. I had very little knowledge of the Lord at that time. SO, from 10 to 42, I traveled very little... then that exploded in both time and distance. To having traveled, ministered, given, shared, loved... and been loved... I am overwhelmed with the kindness and joy that the Lord has placed in my life... "astonished with a great astonishment".


And I could place a mile-long list of wonderful friends and family the Lord has dropped into my life. The only reason I can't put too many details is if I forget someone, somehow, they might be hurt; and, if I mention someone who wants to be kept in the background they might be hurt... so I can't risk it. But, considering my former horrible behavior and my ugly lifestyle and the stresses even after the Lord broke into my life, to be blessed, loved and cared for by so many "sweethearts".... I am regularly "astonished with a great astonishment".

And how did this pour into me today?...

"Mark 5:40 ... he [Jesus] taketh the father and the mother of the damsel, and them that were with him, and entereth in where the damsel was lying. 41 And he took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise. 42 And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment.