Monday, November 1, 2010

My Testimony

When I lived in the world in my sin and my shame,
You came to me often, You whispered my name.
You said, "You're a princess, not the orphan you feel".
I didn't believe You; the shame was too real.

So You sent some to tell me, "Life's more than this pain."
And my heart filled with longing to break those strong chains.
A teacher, a friend, a man on the street,
Passed by just to tell me life could be complete.

How I wished to believe them, I sought to be free,
For the freedom I'd found didn't satisfy me.
I lived in the '60's, a child of rebellion
Churning forward and back in a black, fire-hot caldron.

But You wove the web tighter, this Love-web You'd spun,
And You tightened Your grip so that I couldn't run.
And I couldn't resist You--I had to be saved.
From the curses of Sin, Death, Hell and the Grave.

I still wasn't happy although You'd received me.
The patterns of sin and abuse had deceived me.
For You were a Father, and Fathers are cruel,
With promises broken and strong hands to rule.

I learned to obey You, to yield to Your Way,
But lived in deep heart-pain, as day followed day.
As month followed month, and year followed year.
With no hope that the sunshine would ever appear.

And when a dear friend died, I mourned and I wept,
But You chose then to touch me; a promise You kept.
In the night hours of sorrow, You said, "You'll be free.
You learned to trust this man; You'll learn to trust me."

And in time that's what happened, and I'll never know how.
But I learned to walk with You like a small, trusting child.
My life wasn't easy; day by day chaos reigned.
But I knew that You loved me, so endured life's sharp pain.

Through more years of darkness, oppression and sorrow,
I grew to trust for today, and to hope for tomorrow,
For I knew since You loved me it brought You no joy
To watch as I suffered, while I saw sin employed.

And one day it happened. My bonds dropped away.
And grateful and joy-filled, I faced a Bright day.
But – without the constraints of life's darkness and pain,
In freedom, I stumbled, tripped up by those chains.

And the torment endured was new every day.
I thought Your mercies had fled, so I withered away.
Winter's ice-blasted fingers encircled our town
And, my soul, like the grasses, turned lifeless and brown.

I forgot there's a truth, in the soul and the earth:
Winter is fleeting; with Spring comes rebirth.
And You said, "Child, Watch! As Spring comes to your door,
Like the robins and lilacs, your soul I'll restore.”

You spoke the word "Queenly" to my heart every day
And reminded this waif of a much nobler Way,
And gently restoring your Fatherhood cover,
Enhanced it, with grace, as my Soul's Holy Lover.

Now with Savior and Father and Lover and Friend,
My soul knows no darkness when shadows descend.
In Your love and Your kindness my heart safely rests,
And I am, among women, most wonderfully blest.
I wrote this some time ago, based on Song of Solomon, but even today, I know that without His faithful and forceful and never-ending reconciliation, there would be no hope, no true life. I'm one grateful God-child.


Glynn said...

Learning to trust him like you're a child -- that's how it reconciliation happens -- tio trust him with all that he did for us. Nice one, CaryJo.

S. Etole said...

You are amazing, my friend ... good job!

Jeanne Frances Klaver said...

A timeless message!

Doug Spurling said...

Weeping may last through the night and at times it seems the night is long - real long. But the promise stands true - joy comes in the morning - joy comes in the mourning. Thank you for shining light back on the long dark night and reconciling with the Light.

caryjo said...

Thanks, Friends. And, yes, Doug, if we didn't have our Heavenly Father as our most caring Person in our lives, we'd be in trouble for all time. Instead.. hope comes forward again and again. Makes me smile... even through tears ... b/c I know He has the future in control. And loves me. [YIPPEE!!]

Anonymous said...

This is wonderful! I really enjoyed it. Thanks, caryjo

Hazel I Moon said...

Such pain, then healing in this beautifully worded poetry. Our Father certainly views us as Queen or King because are his precious children.

Anonymous said...


This is sooo beautiful and so personal. May I have permission to repost it (on with FULL accreditation and a link to your site.

Keep us the good work for the Lord. And please tell your friends from Bhutan a warm hello. :)

Anonymous said...

Your poem should be reposted later today (11/30/2010), around 8:30 AM EST. Thanks for sharing.

TC Avey said...

Amazing- keep sharing!