Sunday, August 26, 2012

MY PHURBA CRISIS

Just warning you ahead of time:  this is LONG.  And serious. 

At the zoo last year.  A fun and joyful day.
In nearly 2 years, I have been involved with Phurba and his family.  He has been my dear Bhutanese "grandson" and going through so much through his brain tumors and surgery.  As I stated before on other posts, he began to have seizures when he was 8; he is now 26.  He has so welcomed me into his life that I've been highly blessed.  [The rest of his family, too.  Such dear ones!]

For some reason, he has been striking at family members.  I hear it occurred even in Nepal since the seizures began, but no one had told me that until yesterday.  A few weeks ago, he had struck his father and was going at his brothers and the police were contacted by an outside family member and he was taken to a mental area of a hospital, then moved for several days to another one.

He was released and, a few days later, I went to the psychiatrist appointments for him with his brothers and his mom... not as an interpreter, but an "explainer". [When they are asked a question that doesn't seem understandable, I re-speak it, dropped down to a clearer version.]

I had told them that if and when he begins to strike the family members again, they can call me, day or night, and I will rush to them.

Yesterday morning, about 10:40, the phone rang and it was Bijay, Phurba's younger brother.  Bijay began with, "Hello, Grandma.  How are you?"

I said I was a little tired, but that was fine.  And asked what was going on.

He said, "Phurba is hitting us...."

I told him I'd be there in a few minutes and I'd call 911 when I was on my way.  So that's what happened.  First, I called my husband and told him what was up.  THEN I called the police, gave the info and the address.  And, sorry to admit this, for that 3 miles, I DID NOT drive the speed limit through those neighborhoods.

When I reached their place and his dad opened the door, my first sight was that Jamal's undershirt shoulder portion was ripped off.  Phurba was standing across the room with a leather belt wrapped around his hand and wrist to swing it at others and hit them.  As soon as I was in that living room, the Lord laid it on my heart to say to him, firmly and not quietly, over and over, "In the name of Jesus, you sit on the couch."  At first he said, "No." But, as I kept repeating myself, for a fairly short time he sat there, starting several times to jump to his feet and kick and swing, but then sitting back.  I kept in his face as much as possible.  [Took my glasses off and handed them to his aunt just in case I'd be struck; I didn't want them broken.]

Then I went outside to call 911 again, and Sai, his older brother, pointed at the police cars parked down the street.  I ran to the middle of the street and started waving at them and they came forward.  Guess they might not have had the address clearly enough.  I explained the basic situation and, at first, they didn't seem to take it very seriously. WELL, after a few minutes in the house, they seemed to.

When the police were looking around and dealing with the basics, I looked at Phurba's mom, Nima.  She is one of the smiliest people I've ever known, and when I touched her shoulder, she burst into tears.  I just sat on a chair and held her. 

Then the police, after Phurba continued to kick and scream, pushed him to the floor and handcuffed him.  One of the policemen, after a 3rd had arrived to hold Phurba's other arm, started asking more questions and that's when I heard it all.  I almost began crying then.

That morning at 7:00 when his grandparents had come down to the living room and he had been sleeping on the floor [no understood reason for that], and it woke him up, he struck them.  They are about 80 years old.  His grandma a very small lady.  Somehow, Phurba's family woke up and came running down and the fighting continued.  [I have no idea why they waited so long to call, but I think it's because his Mom really didn't want him taken away.] 

After all that time of kicking and hitting and "belting" so many family members [a total of 12 live in that house], the final thing occurred that caused them to call me.  Phurba threatened to kill his 10-month-old niece, Sneha, my "great-granddaughter" that I had helped deliver last October during a very tough pregnancy time.



The police were still holding him in the dining room and he kicked at me [missed me, of course] and Bijay was not far away and would say something and Phurba kept spitting on the carpet and trying to kick Bijay.  Finally, he spit harder at Bijay and the spit hit his face.  THAT'S when the police took him outside to the car and said they would take him to an ER about a mile away and I could bring Bijay and mom so we could give all the info.

While they were taking him past my car, Phurba kicked it and broke the passenger-side tail light cover.  [Both Sai and Bijay, separately, have said that they would pay for the repair.  How sweet to be so automatically giving in the midst of all this intensity.]

We got down to the ER, answered all the police and ER leader and nurse questions.  After nearly an hour, Phurba was sedated.  He will be there for a couple more days, then shifted to another location.  The family is brokenhearted on both sides of the fence.  They love him, but they can't risk him in the family until true healing takes place.

I left messages for the psychiatrists, because they had both told me that if anything happened I should let them know...  Sai and Bijay could, of course, but couldn't be understood as easily with their accent.  If I don't hear back early tomorrow, I'll be bugging the psychiatric folks.

The possibilities aren't good, no matter how this plays out.  But we have to protect the grandparents and the baby.

Now, how am I today?  Intense, tired, heavy-hearted.  Why?  Because, unless things change, I have lost a dear one.  He has loved me and known how much I loved him.  But, after this battle yesterday, unless the Lord heals him inside and out, he will reject me.  The good part?  My sweet family loves me even more, because I came just as I had told them I would if anything serious ever happened.  I was hugged a number of times yesterday.  Thanked often.

So, my friends, who have read about Phurba in the past, and now I've taken a million seconds of your time, just please lift him before our Lord for healing, deliverance, protection.  And I'll answer any questions.

The blessing for me?  It fits into a motto the Lord dropped into my life some years ago:  Right place, right time.

Thanks much for putting up with me.

18 comments:

Jay Cookingham said...

Father,

You have such great love for Phurba, you alone know his full story, you alone know the deepness of his woundedness. So we ask that you will heal those deep wounds, that you will heal his mind and his spirit. We ask that doctors will have supernatural wisdom...your wisdom in helping Phurba. We pray for his protection and deliverance and for Phurba to be whole as you created him to be.

We come against the enemy who seeks to harm Phurba and his family. We declare that Phurba belongs to the King of Kings and we will not surrender him to any other kingdom. We bind and break any agreement and proclaim victory over any design or plan of the enemy. We praise our God who will deliever, who has redeemed and has complete sovereignty over Phurba's life.

In this we pray and believe...Amen!

Beth said...

I have tears in my eyes.
I come into agreement with Jay. We're reachhing across the Internet to hold hands and touch Phurba.
Interceding, dear friend.
And yes, what power is in the name of Jesus.

Floyd said...

I'm praying for Phurba, his family and you. What a heart wrenching predicament. Praying that God would be lifted up and His hand of miracles would be with you.

Thanks for being obedient to be in and share your life with others. For that reason alone God is lifted up. Stay strong, God is with you my sister. Thanks for being an inspiration to me.

Gayle said...

Oh my...something is wrong in his brain. I'm wondering if they have explored everything medically. I'm so sorry, I know you are heart broken over this as is the family. I will be praying for this situation.

Crystal Mary said...

Hello friend. I am wondering if this took place in the USA or another country.
Brain Tumors cause havoc and this is very sad. Perhaps you could sit with the family going through healing scriptures, asking for forgiveness, each for your own sins and then praying for healing of this young man.
The mental Health act (USA, Aust, England) stipulates that when a person is a danger to themselves or a danger to others, then that person is to be evaluated by a doctor, then within twenty four hours assessed by a psychiatrist.
He will then be placed on an I.T.O. (involuntary treatment order) and detained in a Mental health facility for the duration agreed upon by the psychiatrist and a magistrate or judge of the court. This is for the persons own protection as well as the protection of others.
Mental Health Units are not the nasty places they used to be, the patients get a lot of help and care. The patient will not be discharged unless he is deemed safe after this. Generally speaking in the USA, and Australia, after going home when well, the patient is allocated a caseworker, who is a mental health professional nurse, to continue to visit them at home and keep tract of their condition.
I will pray about this for you. T have given you the information so you know where it all stands. Hopefully a family conference will be arranged after the diagnosis and prognosis is made, and all the family concerned will be notified at this conference as to the plan worked out for Phurba's well being. As much as possible, the family will get the chance to make their own wishes for him known at this time. Much love Crystal xx

A Joyful Noise said...

May God grant him peace... and rest for you. I have heard of Christian Pastors, who have had a stroke, and after that began to curse and swear. It is sad, when the brain goes haywire. I pray comfort for the family and all involved. He probably needs to be on medication without a direct healing from the Lord. With God all things are possible.

Saleslady371 said...

Joanne, I am so sad for Phurba and this family and you. I join with my fellow bloggers praying for all involved here and believing that the Lord will heal and fill all with His peace.

Hugs,
Mary

S. Etole said...

Adding an "amen" to Jay's prayers.

A New Song said...

That had to be rough all the way around! I am sorry for you and the family.

Having been in similar situation a few years ago I know how hard it is to see someone not in their right mind. We still think of them as WE remember them. Brain trauma/illness is tricky, and violent behavior ( which may not normally be a part of that person's personality) may manifest.

I will believe with you that the reason for this aberrant behavior can be identified and all involved be restored.

Sending my love....

Susan Stilwell said...

Wow, what a story, Joanne! God bless you for loving this family enough to get in the middle of their business and help them.

I'm praying for you and the family, and especially for Phurba. May God heal his wounds and give him clear thinking.

Joan said...

Oh my I will pray for Phurba and his family. I do hope they have explored all medical possibilities. We know that nothing is impossible with God and He is able to heal Phurba.

Blessings,
Joan

caryjo said...

Thank you so much!!! I will email those of you who have given me yours so I can explain a bit more about the medical stuff as asked, but I do need to tell you that he has been watched and treated carefully since they arrived from Nepal...it will be 2 years October 1. Sai, Sai's wife, and the grandparents arrived a month later. Creighton University has done his treating including the brain surgery. They have given him piles of tests before and after. He has piles of meds. Something isn't better. But in Nepal, he acted pretty much the same and I've never known what treatment he received there.

Anyhow, thanks for the prayers, the kindness, the encouragement, the thoughtfulness, and your blessings.

I'll be checking on things as soon as they are told to the family or I am called. Today: cleaning house, laundry, resting, reading the Word, writing, etc. Sounds like a comfortable, non-stressful day. Makes me a happy cookie.

SimplyDarlene said...

Oh, miss J, this is hard and sad. I also "amen" Jay's prayer and wonder the same that Gayle said about perhaps a brain injury.

May the Lord continue to give you all that you need as you love and assist this family.

Blessings.

Jason Stasyszen said...

Joanne, praying and standing with you. Thank you for standing in the gap and releasing Jesus. May the Father's peace, life, and healing flood every strand of DNA in Phurba and bring him to a complete and total restoration--in Jesus' name.

Linda said...

I'm so late getting here Joanne - I'm sorry. I've been shutting down on the weekend so just read this.
You are such a sweet blessing to this family. You love them so well. It is sure to be difficult for all of you, but I'm glad there is peace in their home for now. I'll be praying for all of you.

Ann Cocktale said...

"He who has promised is faithful." There will be a way through for this young man and his family and you have been sent to them to aid in the passage. I pray for his complete healing and your continued wisdom.

Jennifer Richardson said...

oh dearheart....brave, brave dearheart.
i send love and prayers for comfort and peace....protection and provision and extraordinary
grace for everyone in that family
and for your own tender heart.
Somehow this makes me think
of that quote from Helen Keller
"there is so much pain and suffering in this world but there is also so much overcoming of it"

overcoming grace,
Jennifer

Sandra Heska King said...

I've read the updates and I am so very late in getting here for the original story, friend. What a heavy and hard and exhausting time. Joining the others in prayer for Phurba, his family (especially his sweet mom), and you, of course. What a blessing you are to them. Sad. So sad.