MOM

Ten years ago, at the age of 80, after fifty years of alcoholism and a lifelong variety of abuses – both given and received – Mom, watching Joyce Meyers, turned to the Lord. She said, one evening when being invited to a bar by one of my sisters, "Beer ... Bible; Beer ... Bible; Guess I’ll go with the Bible."

Until the life change, Mom and I had a rough relationship. As the oldest of 6 girls, and a corporate lifestyle of intensity, to say the very least, it seemed there was nothing we could talk about that wouldn’t begin a fuss of some kind. Mom is one tough cookie! As has been said by a number of folks over the years, she’s much like the "Maxine" cartoons. I agree. Often that can be very funny, but the person who happens to be the target can feel slammed.

Even though I live 1800 miles away and see her only about once a year, we’ve been doing much better.

Here’s an example. In 1990, when Dave and I were first planning a trip to Uganda to determine if the Lord was calling us there as missionaries, I called Mom to tell her we were going over there. She said, sharply, "Why in the hell would anyone want to go to Africa?" I was a bit overwhelmed, since she’d always been a travel fan and watched African nature stories nearly incessantly.

In May, 2000, a few years later, after our return from Uganda, our full-time missions life there having come to a close, I was visiting missionaries in Costa Rica and the Lord dropped Proverbs 13:12 into my heart and I saw it as the answer to my confusion about Mom’s retort. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled it is a tree of life." Mom always wanted to travel, to go, to see, to simply enjoy nature around her. It had never happened worldwide and rarely States-wide state-wide. Money, jobs [she worked until 80, and wished she’d kept going].

How could I tell things changed? When I was going to Morocco for a prayer walk with others, in April, 2001, I called her to tell her I was leaving and I was nervous re: the anticipated response. Instead she laughed and said, "It would be fun to see you on a camel." It was obvious the Lord had touched her heart. [I never rode a camel – but rode a donkey through a Berber village as our group prepared to go to Marrakesh for Palm Sunday – gave this photo to her shortly after our return. She loved it!]

At 90, she’s having a lot of struggles – on all sides. Her fear and frustration rise as her hearing and sight, ability to swallow, walking, all sink away; the anger is becoming recharged... similar to the years past. I’ve been told she has had some slight strokes, but nothing serious. However, her behavior certainly is not a surprise to her family -- especially the ones who live here and see the changes day to day; for me, and other infrequent visitors, it can seem hard and harsh. I’m learning a lot at this moment, sleeping on the floor outside her bedroom, hearing the various noises that indicate trouble breathing, difficulty in getting out of bed; I have never had to handle this sort of challenge on a daily basis. The Lord is pouring kindness upon me ... and patience... and wisdom in a whole new realm of life.

When she was 82, I wrote a poem for her and framed it and sentit for M-Day. She really liked it. Since I’m in Tacoma for this"decade" change, I thought I’d share it.

J.

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MOM

Mom --
lately, thinking of you
makes me smile.

Jesus said we must be
childlike to inherit
the Kingdom of God.
[Childlikeness has not come easily
to you or to me.]

And ...
I see the "child"
emerging...

A gray-haired,
wrinkled,
a-bit-stiff-in-the-joints
child.

But,
a quicker-to-laugh,
sparkle-in-the-eye
grateful and grace-giving child
of a grace-giving God.

A child --
listening for train whistles
watching lions roar and eagles fly,
waiting in wonder for the sight
over the next hill, around the next bend.

And --
Not fearing
the Last Bend.

Knowing
Like a child returning Home

A Father's arms
will greet you.

[90th b-day event; a number of kids, g-kids, g-g-kids and other connections missing, but this is Saturday’s "pile" of folks. She was one happy and very surprised lady!]